A Lot of Things
by PandoraNaflink
Summary: The Doctor has trouble with sleeping, he's always had. Can a ghost of his future help him through troubled memories that he wouldn't dare to share with anyone else, not even the Ponds? SPOILERS for 'Let's Kill Hitler' Enjoy! x
1. Chapter 1

**Hellooo! WARNING: This story is going to involve spoilers of 'Let's Kill Hitler' and possibly 'Night Terrors' ^^ I hope you enjoy, battering the Doctor with past memories is always fun! Haha... I'm an awful person ^^ :3 Anyway enjoy and I hope that you may REVIEW, critisism is accepted!**

_A Lot of Things_

**_Chapter 1_**

The Doctor was good at a lot of things... Running, saving the day, getting people to 'trust him.' It just took the right words or the right kind of motivation. However the Doctor was also incredibly awful at a lot of other things as well.

_Forgetting, keeping everyone alive, __sleep. _The Doctor didn't feel he acquired rest; he didn't believe he had to share with Amy and Rory about those problems, whether they were just too painful or that he just didn't _want _help. Truthfully, he didn't want someone helping him through the pain he'd lost; he didn't want constant reminders of all the people he just couldn't save. He didn't want to be helped into an uncomfortable rest in which he would be trapped within until he was granted with the peace and sanity of consciousness where before his subconscious mind had wreaked havoc upon all of his memories... his _fears. _

So that was why every evening when Amy and Rory went to bed the Doctor would playfully fiddle with a tool or button on his precious console. He'd bid them goodnight and work on the TARDIS. Some nights he could feel the TARDIS's telepathic thoughts feed into his mind, urging him onto the verges of rest. She'd groan soothingly, worriedly, demanding that he would rest. Telling him that he _needed _to sleep.

"But I don't." Was his murmured reply. Soft words that fled his tongue quickly, almost playfully as if he were willing himself onwards as if he believed he possessed that power.

That night had been different.

Amy had leant against the golden railings of the TARDIS, looking down dramatically at her raggedy Doctor. "Night Doctor," the side of her lips twitched into a smile as she swung herself from the railings and into Rory's arms as they both caught a glance at the Doctor who, as usual remained facing away from them and fixated on a different part of the TARDIS.

"Goodnight Ponds." Was all the Doctor said, it was all the Doctor _ever _said. He'd will them to bed one way or another, but it seemed as if the couple could never return the favour. He didn't even seem capable.

Rory watched as the Doctor slid to the lower levels of his beloved's console and began to tweak at things beyond his own comprehension despite being taught a few of the basics. "Does he ever sleep?" Rory muttered to his wife.

Amy narrowed her eyes and playfully thumped her husband, "shut up stupid he'll hear you." She hissed.

Rory narrowed his eyes, "maybe it's best if he does."

"Maybe its best if I what?" The Doctor's voice was inquisitive, as it always was, his eyes suddenly finding the couple as their faces turned an impressive shade of red.

"Nothing!" Amy insisted; her eyes sparkling with childish humour, the same twinkle that the Doctor had seen all those years ago, back when she was a mere child. To him, she still was. No one grew up on the TARDIS.

Rory opened his mouth to object, but instead Amy pulled aggressively on his arm. The Doctor couldn't help but smirk when he heard Rory's pleas for help as Amy dragged him further down the halls of the TARDIS to their own bedroom.

_Do you have a room?_

The question still rang through the Doctor's mind. He'd never answered Rory's question, amongst all the other questions that had been flooded through his mind, this seemed like the one most adamant to stay alive. The Doctor sighed, threading a hand through his hair and dragging it down his face as he carried on his work.

_Doctor, Doctor burning bright._

The Doctor's eyes widened in surprise, his head instinctively turning away from his work as his ear pricked to the new voice within the console room.

"Amy?" The Doctor asked quietly, eyebrow raised. He frowned. It couldn't have been Amy. The voice sounded too young... too childish, even for the girl who waited. In fact the voice hadn't even held a Scottish vigour. Instead it was presented in a delighted London accent. Young, fragile... _alien. _

_But your light's burning out Doctor._

The Doctor's frown increased further, "Whose there?" he could feel the spark of curiosity hit him hard, but at the same time there was the lingering sensation of fear. How could someone have gotten into the TARDIS, _his _TARDIS? It didn't seem feasible, unless this was some form of hallucination or even the return of something even more sinister. The Doctor shuddered to even think. Yet another image that haunted his dreams... the image of the 'Dream Lord.'

Suddenly he seemed surrounded by the echo of childish giggles, seeming to get higher and louder... until they stopped. Suddenly.

_You need to sleep Doctor, your light is burning out, you'll work yourself out Doctor. Poor Doctor, my Doctor. Don't you wonder what it would be like to dream peacefully for once?_

The Doctor found himself rushing up to the higher level of the console, spinning around in a circle in frustration as he lifted his arms in the air. "Who _are _you? Show yourself, that is if you have a self, in which case feel free to..." he would have continued if it wasn't for the next bout of childish giggles wracking the console room. The voice seemed to jingle like delicate chimes, a perfect harmony.

That was when the Doctor was caught off guard. He flinched as small delicate fingers threaded through his own. He spun on his heels, his right hand prying his sonic from his inside pocket as he pointed it directly at his intruder. The laughter continued.

_Doctor, you can't hurt me. You wouldn't dare._

**Cliffhanger! OoOOoOoOOo, hope you enjoyed, please R&R it's like getting the rush of stepping out onto another Planet! -^.^- Thaaaaaank you! A-vis-dah-say :3**

_xxxx  
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	2. Chapter 2

**Hiiiiiiiiiiiii! (that was supposed to sound a bit like the 'hi' the Doctor and Rose say in 'The Idiot's Lantern') :3 Haha, okay so this is my second chapter, it's quite short and hasn't really got spoilers in it yet, but trust me by chapter 3 there'll be spoilers galore of Let's Kill Hitler and Night Terrors, YES I have decided! Haha! Then I can use the creepy SONG the dolls sang. ^^ TICK TOCK GOES THE CLOCK. :3 Right then, please REVIEW and I'll see you on the other side. Trust Me? :)**

_**Special Thanks to the three people who reviewed my first chapter! :)**_

_Chapter 2_

The Doctor almost lost his grip on his sonic, _almost. _

There, stood before him was a young girl. _No... Teenager? _She stood at the height of around five foot or so, her body clad in a black t-shirt and green cargos. She wore leather combat boots... and she was _laughing; _so very beautifully. Her shoulder length golden locks tickled the crook of her neck as she let her lips rest against each other, smiling giddily as she rocked on the balls of her feet.

_Doctor, put the sonic down, we can talk._

The Doctor frowned, placing his thumb on the correct button as the faint sound of whirring mechanics took to the atmosphere kindly, familiarly... As soon as it was done he lifted the device in front of his face, rubbing his head in sudden confusion, his eyes flickering with a slight sparkle as emotions swept across his face as quickly as time itself.

Slowly, he let the sonic drop from his face, revealing wide eyes to the figure stood before him. Her body rumbled with more laughter. The Doctor rose a brow, this time paying closer attention when he set his sonic upon the teen.

Just as he expected.

Her body blurred, flickering like a television with bad signal before it regained composure as soon as his thumb fled the button. The Doctor let out a hurried laugh, rubbing his jaw with a small grin. "You're not really here." He stated.

"I never was, not really anyway. One day I will be though." Her voice was stronger, less mechanical and more _real. _

"Right," the Doctor said quickly, turning on his heels to face away from the stranger. He quickly dashed to the other side of the console, yanking the TARDIS' monitor into full view as he began typing rapidly. "The TARDIS isn't picking you up; you aren't here... just as you said. What are you then? No, don't tell me... that'll ruin the fun. A computer program perhaps? ...No you couldn't possibly be. Then what? _What?_" this time as he spoke he walked closer and closer to the teen. His eyes fixated upon the figure, his index finger pointing directly at her pale nose. "What could you _possibly _be?"

There was a pause as her oceanic wide orbs gazed into his chocolate pools. She grinned slightly as his eyes widened in realisation. She nodded, opening her mouth to urge the words to surface.

"A ghost." They both uttered the words at the same instant, the Doctor's mouth instantly turning grim, the teen's grinning wide, almost reaching her ears.

"Well a ghost of the future to be exact, _your _future." She beamed, walking around the ancient Time Lord as if she had suddenly taken a fascination in him. "The TARDIS is a smart thing I'll tell you that. A smart girl aren't you?" the girl seemed to raise her arms, laughing giddily as she heard the TARDIS whir in appreciation.

The Doctor rubbed his face, "That is impossible." He stated emotionlessly, "How can you _be _here?"

"The TARDIS cooked me up, from _your _timeline. Evidently I'm someone you trust enough for her to call upon my help, though I'm not _really _here I get the idea that you need someone to talk to." She grinned once more, folding her arms in victory.

The Doctor frowned, fiddling with his hands as he stepped back from the child, pointing a finger accusingly at her from a safe distance away, "I have nothing to talk about." He insisted, "I've got the Ponds for that, they give me a Hell of a time."

The girl's eyes twinkled, "You can tell me anything." She sang, twirling in a circle as she pointed towards her small silver watch, "It's pretty late isn't it... your _Ponds _aren't around, are you sleeping okay?"

The Doctor frowned, "How can I trust you, I don't even _know _you!" he growled.

The girl smiled sadly, her blue eyes sparkling with distant tears, "but you will." She smiled, pain sweeping across her gaze and just for an instant... she seemed fragile... the Doctor felt a stab of pain in his hearts, yet another person he hurt.

"What's your name?" he asked weakly before holding up his hand as he saw the girl shake her head, "right, you can't tell me. _Spoilers _right?"

The girl grinned, "Melody brushes off on you, or do you know her best as River?" Her face softened, "Love... does it bother you? That someone you love was built to kill you, that someone you love _will_ killyou... that when you look into her eyes you see her dying in that chair, you see her lifeless body even though you tell yourself she's still alive, in the library. For always." By the end of the speech the teen's eyes were glistening with unshed tears. The Doctor's eyes were wide, yet no tears were evident. He couldn't cry... not as freely as he once had. Sometimes he found that a curse of this regeneration. He was stronger, but at the same time so _weak. _He felt the teen's hand place soothingly against his arm, he watched her skin blur, he watched it dance like white noise, until it stabilized. Again.

The Doctor's face broke into a small smile. The child seemed confident that she had gotten this far with her Doctor. She smiled briefly before removing her hand and ushering him to sit on the cream leather 'commanders' chair of the TARDIS console room. He narrowed his eyes slightly as her grin widened.

"So Doctor, sweet Doctor... where do you want to start?"

**See? Told you I'd be here, listen I gotta get going but pur-leese review and I'll be sure to get you something extra special, IN PIXEL FORM! :) BYEEEE x**


	3. Chapter 3

**OK here it is, my third installation, I'm writing these quite quickly because I want to have done a lot by the time school starts... in two days. :( wah. Anyways, I do NOT own Doctor Who if I did I'd be starring in it ^^ Duh. Tweehwee, o-o ? Yeah... so urm enjoy and don't forget to REVIEW! xXx  
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_Chapter 3_

The Doctor watched in both curiosity and awe as the teen flickered and vanished before his eyes; only a few seconds passed before a large flash was seen not two feet away as the teen appeared once more cross legged on the commander's chair. She shrugged, looking at the startled Time Lord. "Well if you're not going to take my offer, I'll sit myself."

The Doctor's eyes darted to the console raising a brow; carefully he pointed his sonic towards the main console and scanned it. He stared at the readings for a few moments before narrowing his eyes towards the teen once more.

The girl's grin faltered slightly, her right hand lifting to scratch her head in confusion, "blimey you really don't trust me do you? How far back is this?"

The Doctor pointed directly at the console, his gaze not leaving the teen for a second, "What have you done to _my_ TARDIS, she's losing power at the second, and at this rate she's going to programme herself for an emergency landing!" The Doctor was frantic and his chocolate eyes blazed with an anger that the girl seemed to understand well. She leant back on the seat, allowing her legs to fall forward against the chair. "Relax," she stated calmly, her hands lifting up in silent surrender, "it's not my fault, your precious TARDIS was worried. She's used a lot of power to get me here and she's not going to let me go until I've fixed your problems." The girl winked, leaning back in the chair and lifting her arms in the air, stretching dramatically. "Unless you want to make an undignified landing, you'll let me help you."

The Doctor's eyes flashed slightly, his arm reaching out to stroke one of the buttons on the TARDIS, "She always has been a stubborn old girl." He grinned, almost like normal. _Almost._

The Doctor looked up to see the girl standing before him, her eyes sparkling with childish glee. "When you dream, do you think of the Master or perhaps it's River dying before your eyes as you're hand cuffed unable to do anything about it,"

The Doctor grinned, chuckling darkly, "are you finding this fun." He asked, turning on his heels as he walked away, pulling a few levers on the TARDIS to stabilise her further so she wouldn't end up falling out of orbit.

The girl smirked and opened her mouth, but before she could speak the Doctor turned back to her, his finger pointing angrily at her face, "because it's not." He growled glancing back at his TARDIS. "Why did you pluck this child out of my timeline? What is so special about her?" he muttered, rubbing his face tiredly.

"You know I am standing right here..."

The Doctor revolted on her dangerously, "_YOU _don't get to speak." He hissed fiercely.

"Doctor..." the girl sounded more distant this time and when the Doctor swept his fringe from his eyes he realised why. There was tears freely falling down her eyes, her arms were limply clinging to her abdomen. She was so... _lost._

"I don't like this game." She whispered hoarsely, staring vacantly at the floor before biting her lip, "I want to help you. I know why you're so... angry all the time, so lost. You've seen so much death and now you know."

"Know what?" the Doctor asked more calmly, his voice softer as he took a hesitant step towards the girl.

"I'm not stupid," the girl scoffed as she swept her blonde locks from her face, "I know where I've been taken to... what time period... you've seen your death date and you're _afraid._"

The Doctor felt his hearts sink as he slumped against the console, "why are you telling me this?" he asked quietly, forcing himself to stay strong in front of this fragile child.

The girl glanced up again, humming a tune that sent shivers down his spine, "_Tick tock goes the clock even for the Doctor." _She sang calmly, her lips twitching... but not from happiness, no... not that again. "You saw Melody in Germany when you shouldn't have and you could have died but you _didn't. _You _didn't _because you knew you couldn't because your death is a fixed point in time and space." The girl's eyes were vacant as she stepped closer to the Time Lord, reaching closer... straightening his bow tie with tears freely flowing down her cheeks. "The Doctor lies remember?"

The Doctor pushed her away, causing her to once more turn to white noise before her body stabilised again. "How do you know this?" he muttered, holding her wrists tightly so she couldn't break free.

The girl smiled sadly, "stories passed down, the best stories you could ever imagine... ones plucked from the very mind." She blinked away the last of her tears as the Doctor let go of her. She stumbled backwards slightly and fell to her knees, looking up at him through damp locks, "_Please," _she whispered, "no more questions... let me help you."

After staring at the child long and hard the Doctor rubbed at his chin and grinned, "Fine." He surrendered, offering her his hand as she attempted to get back to her feet.

"I doubt you can actually help me though."

"Oh believe me I have had practice with your stubbornness." The girl grinned, "I know your past," she winked at him, circling him once more before grabbing at his hand, "I even know some of your future."

The Doctor frowned, "So..."

"So!" the girl grinned, "exactly, so!"

The Doctor's eyes sparkled in an ounce of humour trapped within his rigid form, "I'm not following, and I _usually _follow things like this."

"Really?" the girl's face seemed to glow with glee, "'Cause I heard you had trouble distinguishing who River was when you first met her."

The Doctor grinned, allowing the child to drag him along down the vast hallways of his TARDIS. The TARDIS seemed to purr joyfully as the girl giggled, but hushed herself as her eyes danced towards one lone closed door. She jerked her head towards it and put her fingers to her lips childishly, "Amy and Rory." She mouthed knowingly, dancing past their door silently as she guided the ancient Time Lord further and further still until finally they came across an open archway. An open archway that led them into the vast library of the TARDIS containing thousands of books, enough for a lifetime of enjoyment, well a _human's _lifetime that is.

The girl's eyes twinkled as she dragged the Doctor into the library, the smell of old pages and varnished oak hitting them with an open welcome.

They sat themselves near the back of the bookshelves where two lavish red leather sofas lay. The Doctor sat on one, the girl on the other.

After a few moments of silence, the teen's face fell, her arm hesitantly reaching out before she stopped herself and looked at the floor where a few books ranging of several different origins lay. "You're tired." She stated.

The Doctor smiled, "I'm allowed to be."

"You're over nine hundred years old... I think anyone would be tired at that age," the girl grinned.

The Doctor shrugged, straightening his bow tie subconsciously.

The girl shook her head, "you're hopeless at small talk, when was the last time you tried to speak to a kid?"

The Doctor froze slightly; his thoughts trailing back to the night he'd spent trying to calm down a terrified child. _George._

_It's been a while, _it really had. Children were hard to entertain... and harder to think of. All the children that had been lost in the fires of Gallifrey. His hearts sank just thinking about it, and the teen could tell.

"You're haunted by so many things." She muttered, "But you don't need to be... trust me."

The Doctor looked up to her again, putting on a grin as always, his strength a mere facade. "How can I?"

"Spoilers," the girl smirked with a quick eye roll.

**I know it ended in a wierd kind of way but it is supposed to get those eager minds of yours thinking. It isn't obvious who this kid is and no one as of yet has guessed it correctly so... MUAHAHAHAH! Soon the answer will be clear... sooooooooooon. More spoilers will ensue and please Review! Thanks to the person who reviewed my last chapter, considering I only uploaded it like five hours ago xD Haha, anyway GOOD DAY! xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**AND IT IS WRITTEN! :3 I have gotten this far and I'm not going to give up yet! Mwaha! ^^ Okay... it is pretty obvious now who the kid is, but if you don't know don't ask! I want at least one person to be suprised lol! :) Anywho, I do not own Doctor Who... bwaha. I wish I did.. I REALLY do. :'( Oh well, anywaaayz, see you on the other side!  
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_Chapter 4_

The more the two talked, the more comfortable it became. In fact the Doctor was starting to feel a slight tug at his hearts... as if he was sure he knew this girl from somewhere. Of course, there was a reason why she was a ghost of his _future, _but it felt good... it felt normal.

"You never let yourself sleep; you won't even go to your room even though you have a perfectly good one." The girl muttered, rolling her eyes.

The Doctor folded his arms, "how did you know that? I don't tell anyone that, that's..."

"Personal?" the girl finished with a smirk, "maybe now it is... but you tell people that are the closest to you."

The Doctor looked up at her with wide, questioning eyes. She knew what he was going to ask and grinned at him, "I suppose it's not much of a spoiler, yes you tell River... well I guess she already knows. Whenever she sees you she knows your pain. She just doesn't know the extent of it."

The Doctor crossed one leg over the other, leaning closer to the teen, "that's something I still don't get." He'd started doing that thing she'd grown to love... that inquisitive stare as if he was studying her... wanting to know everything about her just by staring. She beamed. If only.

"Why do you know all of this? How much closer can there be aside from River..." the Doctor raised a brow, for a split second considering perhaps this _was _River... but even if she was another regeneration of River... he'd know... this couldn't be her. There was just no way.

"I told you." The girl leaned in also, so close that their noses were almost touching each other. She grinned looking deeper into his eyes. They were old eyes, yet young. Younger than she'd ever seen them, perhaps younger than she ever _would _see them_. _Although this Doctor was her Doctor in most aspects... the way he studied her... as if she were alien to him. It broke her apart. "Stories." She allowed the word to roll out along her tongue as she blew into the Doctor's face childishly. He immediately pulled back, rubbing his face with his hands. "Oi!" he complained.

"Have a sense of humour would you?" the girl chuckled stretching against the sofa. "It must be pretty late," she said, toying with him, winking at him as she sprawled against the leather, "don't you feel the teeniest bit tired?" she inquired with a small pout.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "I'm sorry." And he really was. Sleep was not an option, not even if it meant the TARDIS would have to make an emergency landing. He just couldn't be put through that kind of torment... he just _couldn't._

"Your days are numbered, doesn't that ever make you feel like you want to give up. To give _in, _to just rest?" the girl scrambled onto her hands and knees across the sofa, looking at him through her now tangled locks.

The Doctor smiled, looking at her, "it's all about now that matters not what's yet to come, I'm alive _now._"

The girl grinned and pointed at him, "which is why you wanted River saved... even though she basically killed you, you were persistent in saying you weren't dead."

The Doctor nodded slowly, still unsure how the child knew so much. Who would he entrust with all of these stories... all of these _secrets? _There had to be a sane reason.

"Besides you knew she'd save you, you love her enough to know that. You wanted to save her after all."

The Doctor glared at her, "why do you keep saying that?"

The teen shrugged, "I want to see you."

The Doctor pointed at himself, straightening his bow tie, "I'm right here."

The girl's eyes shimmered, "you hide behind your smiles and your jokes and goofy grins and your 'bowties are cool' but you're not happy, you can hide the pain and the monster inside but you can't be _happy. _Especially with the Dream Lord lingering in there with you."

The Doctor growled under his breath, "that's going too far." He insisted.

"Good." The girl almost laughed, "let it be too far, I want to see you for who you are... if you see it, maybe you'll sleep easier, maybe you'll sleep worse."

The Doctor forced his gaze to the floor.

The girl softened her tone, her hands blurring in and out of focus as they stroked the Doctor's fingers. "Maybe you'll just sleep."

There was a small pause before the Doctor looked up at the child again, "tell me something about you."

The girl looked taken aback but pleased all the same, "why?"

"Because," the Doctor shrugged, "I just want to."

The girl put her hand on his knee, stroking it lightly, "I used to be afraid of the dark," she said, her eyes shimmering.

"Understandable," the Doctor echoed, grinning more like himself once more.

"But then my parents told me that I shouldn't." She rolled her eyes, "they said that the dark wasn't something to fear... it was what was _in _the dark." She blinked a few times as if attempting to keep the tears within her skull, "they said it was a monster that could be reasoned with, and it wasn't really scary at all... not alone." She grinned, "I still have a night light though... just in case I ever saw it."

"Your parents weren't far off." The Doctor congratulated, wiping a tear that was climbing down her cheek only for it to turn to static under his grip and disappear. The Doctor bit his lip. She wasn't really there... he had to _remember _that.

"Oh believe me I know..." the girl chuckled, "but it kind of reminds me of something."

The Doctor beamed, his chocolate pools blazing; "what's that?"

The teen chuckled, "bedtime stories... it's the making of a good night's rest..." she snapped her fingers delicately, repositioning herself on the sofa. "I'm going to tell you a bedtime story."

**BEDTIME STORIES FTW! It's getting cuuute! ... Cute really isn't my style, so uh... to me cuteness is kinda sickening but I think I've accidently written this out of my depth. OH WELL. Let's see how it goes... xD Buh-bai! x**


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